Charlie s letter
by Jazmingirl
Summary: Don is reading a letter by Charlie and finds parts of his brother s life, and his reason for leaving. Slash and Eppecest.
1. Chapter 1

Tittle: Charlie´s letter

Hi this is me again still without a beta so all mistakes are mine, - (need a beta)-

This boys aren´t mine

This is slash and Eppescest so if is not your cup of tea go and find coffee someplace else.

I can see you, you´re giving orders to your people, I just tried to explain what I could find, I just tried to help you because that´s what I do, I help you.

this is part one of the story.

Don was in Charlie´s office reading a letter that was the only thing, Charlie left him.

You smiled at me and I wanted to cry, I'm in loved with you and I know this is beyond impossible you´re not for me, but what can I say? You don´t tell your heart who to loved.

My friends those who are closed to me knows about my feelings for you they try to help me, when you left me they step up and took care of me, when you showed nothing but disdain for me they shelter me.

She knew also, I could see it in her eyes, she understood my feeling I wasn´t ashamed it is unusual but that was me since day one, and I liked to think that she understood that no one could ever be you.

You thought that I was lost but I was there the whole time, I just felt empty, she was gone and I could tell that so were you.

He may love me but understanding wasn´t easy for him, he just I don´t know, don´t blamed him I´m not an easy person I just needed an anchor and couldn´t find one.

She wants to love me but she loves, craves my mind more, she is jealous of it, like it was something I could give her, something that doesn´t belong only to me.

You never knew him, he was my friend, he was more, he was the first person I though could reach you, he made me smile, he made me laugh, I was happy with him, I felt safe, he wasn´t you but he was allowed, he was someone I could love, I was alive for the very first time in a while he was much mine as I was his, but your shadow got in the way, and then his demons too, and we thought we could handle everything because I was close to love him but I was punished because I wasn´t honest and he died taking a huge part of me with him, I was broken, shattered because too late I realized that I love him, that I could be happy with him, he was gone and I couldn´t breathe, and I hated you, because loving you was a curse, I was cursed because I had given my heart to you all those years ago, even when you never knew.

He died not knowing that he was loved, he didn´t know because I couldn´t lie to him, because you were and will always be my love, my beloved one.

I was alone when he help me put a façade _"smile and pretend"_ and I did just that because he help when I fell, he hug me when I couldn´t stop crying when my legs failed me, he was there my trusted friend, my crazy friend, my protector, he help me by being there when the shadows wanted to get me and I was too weak to fight it on my own.

I wasn´t ready to have you in my life but I had to try it, too much hate and resentment lay between us, too much water under the bridge but you don´t know half of it, you don´t know me you didn´t care to know me, I´m not saying this out of anger just a fact, you didn´t care.

My life, my choices surprised you and you questioning me but out of some twisted or I don´t know what sense of anger? I had no reason to trust you, why in the bloody hell would I need to justify my life to you?

But again I was weak and eager and dumb and I just wanted to be closed to you so, I used my head to help you and it worked and you find your bad guy and I knew you would want more and some sick and twisted part of me was thrilled because now you would need me, the tables had been turned and every time something inside of me die a little more because I was allowing you to used me, and when things didn´t turn out the way you wanted and I was able to help you tossed me aside like I was a second thought.

I know that she knows, I have seen her looking at me, she knows and I don´t care I need help I´m drowning, she is special I can tell.

She had seen thing no person should, she had done things that are destroying her, she needs love but you can´t see that either, but he can and he is going to try and fix her, because she is like a glass doll and she is breaking, but he is going to try his damn best.

Him gets under my skin quickly, he can see it too and it doesn´t bother him, he has an air that makes me intrigue, he makes me blush just because he can, he is a predator and I´m his prey? He knows he is not going to win, I love you far too much, I´m far too gone for me, far too damaged for me to feel again for someone else, I see his eyes he is trying to tell me something that I can´t seem to understand.

He takes me with him and I almost see death, it should scared me that for a moment I welcomed? I just wanted all over just wanted to leave you behind for once.

You were angry, you´re always angry, why can´t you loved me?

We keep working and your group accepts me, embraced me but even when I care I no longer have the ability to let anyone inside.

He tells me that I need a clean break, that if I continued doing this is going to kill me and he is like always right, I´m leaving, no more pain, no more you, I need a new start, to kill this, to make it be what it needs to be so I´m leaving, I´m saying good bye, to you, and to this love, to this love that you never knew you have and you never cared enough to find out.

So this my good bye to you Don.

Charles Eppes

This was the letter Don found himself reading over and over until he took off running to Larry´s office.

"Where is he? Where can I find him?"

"You are too late, he already left" was Larry´s short response before closing his office´s door in Don´s face.

He was late, Charlie had left not knowing.

But this wasn´t the end Don promised.

"We are not done Charlie I´m going to find you, I promised"

The end


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Megan POV

Hi this is the second chapter I´m still looking for a beta so all mistakes are mine.

While I play with this boys them don´t belong to me.

Megan´s POV

I see the way you look at him, when he is speaking to us, your eyes never leaves his face, you follow his every move, you watch who watches him and you look at them like he belongs to you like he is yours, like they don´t have any right to watch him.

When I meet you I could tell that you were a man full of passion the way you handle everything, I could see you with women and it was slightly different like a part of you wasn´t there.

Everything changed when he came along, your eyes were alive with a flame I had never seen he makes you feel alive even when you argue half the time.

He is your fire, your motive to even breathe if I say myself that, you both come alive under each other, you are two parts of one and in the same time you are the same part.

I always could tell you were an alpha type but with him it was like he could take all your instincts you became possessive he was yours.

He is oblivious to anyone but you, he feels something, I have seen the struggle you both live you are more than you let on and in the same way you are still fighting was is clear is going to happen because is written all over you.

I think you both can´t see it because one is fighting and the other is losing his faith.

This should be wrong but, because you are you but it fits, you belong together, you need him as much as he needs you, you feel needed by him, he awakens a part of you that only he can do it, you are caring and protective but also possessive and greedy of him of his attention you need him to need you.

He looks at you with so much love but sadness too, I think that he´s getting tired, you without even knowing are breaking his heart, he can´t see what is reflected in his eyes, he can´t see your love as much as you can´t see his.

He is in pain he is been thru so much and you play a part in his pain, he doomed because he cannot love you, because he doesn´t know how and I don´t think he even wants to try, you are for him and he is doubting if he is for you.

I can´t interfere or can I? Do I reveal what I see or keep my mouth shut and let fate run its course?

He didn´t came today, and you went to see him, I think something happened.

You´re back and you look devastated, your eyes lost its life and are full of pain, and in a minute I know it, he left you.

You seem so lost, like a lost little boy that can´t find his way home, you´re looking at everyone here and I can tell that you´re making your mind, your eyes flamed and I know it you´re going after him, you´re bringing him home to you, with you.

"_Go find your love Don, bring Ch_arlie _back"_

You smiled and are outside the door in a minute

You finally stop fighting.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Title: It´s not just me

This is the final part in this series.

It took Don a hole week to find him, he had to admit that he was pretty damn good at hiding and if Don hadn´t been in fugitive recovery he wouldn´t have the connections to find him.

He looked at the apartment where his beloved had been staying and took all his courage and started walking.

He was watching the TV went he felt something and in a moment he knew he was close, he had always have the ability to know when he was around, it was like a sixth sense, like they were linked somehow, he always could feel him, they became masters at hiding but deep down if one needed the other, they knew.

"_The door is open Don come on"_

"_Charlie" _

They were facing each other and they both could see the other´s pain.

Charlie saw raw fear in Don and Don saw heartache in Charlie´s eyes.

"_**Tell me you**__**'**__**ve had trouble sleeping**_

_**That you toss and turn from side to side**_

_**That it**__**'s**__** my face you**__**'**__**ve been seeing**_

_**In your dreams at night**_

_**Tell me that you wake up crying**_

_**And you**__**'**__**re not sure exactly why**_

_**Tell me that something is missing**_

_**In your life, in your life baby…"**_

"_Why you left?"_

"_Do I need a reason? I´m just me, I have no one, dad he can see me here, he had been telling me for years that I need to be more independent, my friends, the ones that matter knows where to find me, and I needed a break"_

"_What about me?"_

"_What about you? I don´t understand, you left me all those years ago, you took off without a single goodbye, what about you?"_

"_So this is payback? I left you and now what? You re returning the favor?"_

"_I´m not doing you a damn thing, I´m trying to…"_

"What are you trying to do Charlie? Tell me"

And Charlie through his eyes bared to Don all his feelings, he allowed him to see everything, all the love that he shouldn´t fell but couldn´t deny anymore, all the years spend trying to make Don realize that his own feeling were reciprocated.

"_**Tell me that you live for love**_

_**That forever is never enough**_

_**That you**__**'**__**ve waited all your life to see**_

_**That you want so badly to believe**_

_**Tell me that it**__**'**__**s not just me**_

_**I could have sworn I saw you smile at me**_

_**Standing in the pouring rain**_

_**At a loss for words and running out of time**_

_**I said this crazy thing (crazy thing), I said**_

_**Tell me that you live for love**_

_**That forever is never enough**_

_**That you**__**'**__**ve waited all your life to see**_

_**That you want so badly to believe**_

_**Tell me that it**__**'s**__** not just me…"**_

"_Oh Charlie what have I done to you? I´m so sorry when I started to feel this for you, because I feel the same way even more, it scared me, you´re my brother, my little brother it wasn´t right for me to feel this way, I close my eyes to you and I´m so sorry that by doing that I caused you so much pain, I love you so much my beloved, but my demons my own personal struggle didn´t allow me to see what my rejection was doing to you._

_I´m sorry but I never thought that a creature as beautiful as you could love a man like me, that you could see past all the reasons why we shouldn´t feel this way._

_I knew I was doomed to wander women through women never finding anything real because my heart never left you, you were mine, made for me to love, and to love me back only me, I´m sorry baby that it took me so long to see it, but please, I´m here asking you, begging for you to give us a chance, for you to tell me that it´s not just me…"_

"_**Hold me now and tell me that you do believe**_

_**In a soul, a soul mate**_

_**And tell me, and tell me, tell me**_

_**Tell me that you live for love**_

_**That forever is never enough**_

_**That you**__**'**__**ve waited all your life to see**_

_**That you want so badly to believe**_

_**Tell me that it**__**'**__**s not just me…" **_

And Don waited, for any sign, and waited and then lowered his head and started to leave when he listened that whisper.

"_It´s not just you Donnie…It´s not just you"_

Like a flash Don turned around and kiss him with all the passion that he was holding back all those years.

"_I love you Charlie"_

"_I love you too Don always and forever"_

"_You´re mine Charlie always and forever seem perfect for me" _

And they went to the bedroom to show each other that love.

The End


End file.
